UJ: I am not Who You Think I am
How many times have we heard that American women are dumb and easy? Sometimes this statement is said by Americans themselves, and it makes me feel as a woman the anguish ripping my heart apart, even if I’m not American. The thing is though, that wasn’t how I felt all along. People say this statement a lot that it becomes impossible for you not to believe in it. Afterward, you need a lot of rethinking and unlearning to see the truth.
In one of the articles called “Stereotypes: Easy American Girl,” I read that one of the most prominent stereotypes not often covered is that of the drunk, sloppy and easy American girl. The author explains an American woman within a context witch is America. When I started remembering the claims people were saying about Arab women and grasping how much they were false, I thought maybe it is the same with American women. Arab women are either seen as engulfed in belly dancing and have so little to cover, or covered up with so much fabric from head to toe that all what can be seen from them are two goggling eyes. When I started dealing with actual American women, I felt confused. I looked at them and I said… hay… wait a minute… they’re smart, intelligent, challenging, funny and more mature than their ages. That woke me up, opened my eyes and unlocked my heart.
And then, there is the issue of restrictions? Who knows what kind or restrictions they have to face. They have to walk, talk, dress, weight and eat, socialize, make decisions and even think in a certain way. They have to be as far away from being a human and as close as possible to be a Barbie.
I wanted to know as an American woman, how would you reply to people who believe in what I used to believe about you? What kind of confinements you face? Also, as an American man, how do you see women in your part of the world? Do you think they face any kind of pressure? And do you think that as a man, you participated in creating part of that pressure?
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Sadly, stereotypes exist in any culture and each person can be cast into several stereotypes depending on their characteristics. For example, I am a blonde American girl from the South. People who do not know me may view me as “a stupid blonde”, “an easy American girl”, or “a sweet Southern lady.” Stereotypes are not necessarily negative in nature. Southern girls are often stereotyped as being kind, welcoming and polite. Whether a stereotype is negative or positive depends on the viewpoint of the person doing the stereotyping. Unfortunately, the Arab countries often view America in a negative light. Honestly we probably deserve some of the negative reviews. The American media does a great job of tearing apart female honor and proliferating negative images of the female body. When the Top 10 most popular music videos all have mostly naked girls throwing themselves at men, it would be easy for a foreigner to view these videos and assume they were representative of American culture. Obviously this is a poor assumption because American culture is not full of half naked girls throwing themselves at men. To people who hold this assumption about the American female population, I would say don’t believe everything you see on the internet or the media. The media is definitely one of the most deceptive aspects of America. Also don’t assume anything about a set of people until you have met at least one and seen how they are for yourself. I believe better international relations between people of various countries would help destroy negative stereotypes such as “the stupid, easy American girl” and “the pious, buried under rolls of cloth Arab woman.”
Women in America do face some confinements. They are not as severe as confinements some women face in the Arab world. Women in America have traditionally been expected to become housewives. Within the past few decades women have made great advances in many job fields especially the sciences. Women working in male dominated fields, such as business or engineering, face hardships in earning promotions and earning equal salaries. Women still make less than men in comparable jobs. Slowly this is changing and women are expanding into all job markets. So as a woman looking for a job in a male dominated field, you are at a disadvantage. One confinement I have experienced growing up is not having the ability to travel alone as a woman. My parents are protective of me of course, being that I am their only daughter and the oldest of three. They are reluctant to let me travel alone for distances longer than an hour. My brother on the other hand, who just received his driver’s license, is allowed to travel alone without a second thought. For example if I am planning to drive to the beach to meet friends, my parents are weary of me driving alone. I see the basis for their concerns- what if the car breaks down and I get stranded? But they seem not as concerned with my brother traveling long distances. Overall I feel quite free as a woman and any confinements I face don’t deter me from living out my goals and dreams.